Recently I wrote about my experience in coping with and dealing with the mental block of understanding my size. After spending most of my life living in a larger body, surprisingly, there’s a lot to overcome mentally. We would think that losing weight would be extremely satisfying, but we often don’t recognize that it comes with challenges. Looking in the mirror at myself creates one of the biggest mental challenges.
To be clear, I’m very proud of the fact that I have lost a lot of weight. Physically, I feel better now than I did a few years ago. However, I constantly feel a need to constantly watch my weight and what I eat. Believing that I always have to exercise. The loose skin that comes with extreme weight loss can be just as frustrating as the weight. Often, I feel a need to continue to try to strive to keep working to do better because I don’t physically look like I want to. These feelings are natural and putting them out there to face them helps cope with the feelings. Weight loss doesn’t mean everything will always be great. Looking in the mirror can be difficult
Constantly Watching What You Eat
After losing any amount of weight, people may feel that they need to constantly watch what they eat so they don’t go back to where they were. In my own experience, this is a pretty natural experience. In previous posts I’ve talked about enjoying what you eat. When you’re constantly counting calories, you can begin to feel like a machine and develop a negative relationship with food.
Whether you’ve reached where you want to be or are in the middle of your journey, it’s a good idea to give yourself a break from calorie counting from time to time. I used to worry about calorie counting on vacation, but I’ve changed that habit. Through time and mentally fighting with myself, I’ve learned to enjoy my vacation time without worrying about the food. Let’s face it, if you’ve been working at it for a while, you have a pretty good idea of your intake goals. Also, if you’re like me, you like to enjoy new culinary experiences while you travel and calorie counting can take the experience away. Listen to your body. Eat slow and savor the experience. Stop when you’re full. Indulge in something sweet. You can always catch up when you’re home.
What I just stated sounds easy in theory, but it’s not. When you’ve spent your life developing eating habits it can be frightening to break your new habits over a fear of going back. If you haven’t fully developed your new habits, then going back could be easier. However, speaking from experience, you have the ability to overcome the urge to go back. Don’t beat yourself up for enjoying a meal, a vacation or a snack. If you’re really worried, lean on your support team.
Always Needing to Exercise
Similar to eating, you might begin to tell yourself that if I’m not doing an organized exercise every day, then I’m doing something wrong. We don’t have to do an organized exercise every day. If you don’t have time or aren’t close to your gym, find ways to move. When I go on hiking vacations, obviously I don’t need to worry about getting movement in. On other trips that are more relaxing, I may find time to go for a thirty minute walk. It may not sound like much, but getting any type of movement in supports your health.
Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t worry about getting my workout in. Depending on where I travel and for what helps determine my “exercise” routine. When traveling for conferences, I go out in the mornings or evenings and walk or run. When I’m visiting family, I tend to keep to my routine. There are ways to get your exercise in, but don’t beat yourself up for missing a work out or two. It’s not going to set you back. The break will probably be good for your mind and body.
Loose Skin is Real When Looking in the Mirror
After you get past the mental block of feeling the need to count calories and constantly exercise, the biggest challenge is your physical appearance. Sounds weird, but it is so true. We tend to think that when we lose weight our bodies will look like those in magazines. We’ll have the six pack. Our skin will be glowing. The sight of fat will be gone. The problem, when the fat leaves, the skin is still stretched. It doesn’t retract that much. Looking in the mirror can cause shock, frustration and body image issues.
This can cause problems, such as rashes and sores from constant rubbing. This isn’t something I’ve really experienced, but it can be uncomfortable when I run. What’s more uncomfortable and can be a shock to the mental system is when I look in the mirror. I knew losing weight wasn’t going to give me the perfect beach body, but the loose skin around my waist, legs and arms can be upsetting when I look in the mirror. To know you’ve put all this work in, but the remnants remain is frustrating.
How do you cope with this? We all probably have different ways. For me, I remind myself that this is a symbol of the work I put in to get where I am now. I remind myself of everything I can do now that I couldn’t before. It’s also a reminder that I have more goals and something to look forward to. I don’t want or need the perfect beach body, but I do want to remove the skin to feel better and more comfortable. This creates another challenge.
Striving to Be Better
This is both positive and negative. There are always things that we can do better with. We set goals and want to reach them. The challenge is, what are healthy and functional goals and what are the things that we are striving for that may be detrimental to our physical and mental health. For instance, the goal to run a marathon is obtainable through work based on where I am in my health journey. However, wanting to have the perfect beach body isn’t something that is mentally healthy.
There should be a balance between what is healthy when striving to be better and what can cause more problems for us. I’m not saying training for a marathon can’t cause problems. I may not finish and get upset. I could get injured. But, the challenge is obtainable through building. Having the perfect beach body could be obtainable, but the first question is, what’s the perfect beach body look like? Also, how will you talk to yourself? What will this do to your diet? With any goal we ultimately have to ask ourselves, is this healthy, realistic and what challenges are there.
Be Realistic and Love Yourself
Every goal brings challenges that can impact us physically, mentally and emotionally. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for them, we should be realistic. Give yourself grace and opportunities to celebrate when you reach them or as you are striving to reach them. Understand that weight loss and wellness doesn’t equal perfection. There are still frustrations that come with the journey. This can lead us to do things or hope for things that are realistic. When we’re looking in the mirror we may not look the way we hoped, but we’re still healthier than we were before. It’s part of the journey to reach you physical and mental wellness goals.